A Beautiful Mess

I have heard this so many times but this is my beautiful mess.  I am so thankful that I no longer have a foot in my rib but along with that comes other things that are not so fun.
We welcomed Charlee Paige to this world on the 20th.  We didn't really have a name picked out definitely until that day.  We were set on Stella Pearl for a REALLY long time but it got changed when i was joking around with the name Charlee.  Tim liked that name a lot and it served 2 purposes for him.  His dad's middle name was Lee and it wanted to incorporate it somewhere in the name.  Tim's pseudo good friend is Charles.  So we killed 2 birds with one stone by changing the spelling to "lee" on the end.  The middle name was the hardest part.  Trying to come up with something that flowed well.  I had seen Charlee Paige and liked the sound of it but Tim was really leery of it.  I am surprised he let me use it because when I liked a name he poo poo'd it because so and so's dog was named that.  Paige is the name of our good friend's daughter.  I guess he decided I could pick the name since I agreed to Charlee. 
I had a c-section again with Charlee and the experience was really different.  The spinal was a different feeling then the epidural from last time.  It really wasn't something that I liked.  I felt like someone was sitting on my chest the whole time, and I just wanted to go to sleep.  It didn't help that I was already tired when we went in.  After it was all over i knew I would be cold with the chills and be experiencing itching like last time.  I just didn't think the shivering would start as soon as I walked into the surgery room; I hate that feeling.
Charlee's APGAR scores were all 9's which is really good.  Kind of proud of that one.  She did have a lower temp in the recovery room which held us back there for awhile.  We then went to our room for the next two days.
I have to say I was disappointed in the hospital and I could not help comparing it to the hospital Willow was born at, Methodist Women's Hospital. The recovery room was for everyone unlike the private one I had with Willow.  When they moved me to my real room I commented that it was small and they laughed at me and said that it was one of the bigger ones and at least I had a private room.  Really?  They still have double rooms especially with a mom and new baby?!  The cot Tim slept on was a joke.  it was so low to the ground he might as well been sleeping on the floor; the nurses were really nice though. 
Charlee didn't latch on that good right away.  She wouldn't wake up enough to do anything.  The second day she did the cluster feeding thing and it was really making my uterus hurt.  It hurt so bad I asked if we could give her formula to satisfy her.  She ate like 40ml, which is double what a normal newborn would eat.  Sent her off to the nursery and they didn't bring her back to me until 5am.  That formula really filled her up I guess.  When we got home I tried feeding her and it was impossible.  I tried pumping so it would get the udders going.  I was so frustrated because my milk was not in yet, no wonder the babe wasn't interested in my boobs.
It is not like I am a new mom so I kind of knew what was going on but every child is different.  Willow took right away and went with it.  I have to say everything is really different.  My pain is worse it seems.  The breastfeeding things is not as easy as before. My crotch looks as though someone kicked me with this huge bruise there.  Yes I know you wanted to know this info. I had to start taking steroids a week before delivery to get my platelets up.  With taking them my immune system became suppressed and I got a cold sore.  So I started taking meds right away in hopes to keep that at bay.  Unfortunately I started to get one and another and another and another.  Yes I got 4 different spots of those little F@#$(^s.  It was bad and to top it all of the next day was newborn/family photos!  Thank God up in heaven for photoshop!!!
Willow has been really good with her but I think she acts out  little more then usually.  I look at her and she is so big to me now. Her hands and feet are huge.  It is crazy how I see her differently.  I feel bad how I can't give her the attention I used too. 
I am sooooo thankful my mom is here to help with Willow.  She has been a life saver.  I think I would be curled up in a corner crying.  She has helped a ton with everything too like laundry, cleaning and cooking. 
Charlee has been a really good baby thus far.  Her nights and days are mixed up, which is to be expected but she rarely cries.  I know the next 2 weeks are going to change but I am hoping for good changes.
So I will leave you with pics of me, the beautiful little mess, and our new daughter.

She looked like a little thumb head. The cheeks have gone down some since we came home.